Young mom working to overcome heroin addiction after living 'charmed life'

Part one of our "Faces of Addiction" series

ROANOKE, Va. – Prescription opioid overdoses killed 576 Virginians last year and counties in Southwest Virginia have the highest rates of fatal prescription overdoses in the commonwealth.

It's easy to get lost in the numbers.

As this epidemic touches more and more people, we want to give you the stories behind the figures and show you some of the faces in our community battling addiction.

In the first part of our three-part series, Faces of Addiction, we start with a young woman from Northern Virginia seeking treatment here in Southwest Virginia. 

A picture of Annelise Frey the day she delivered her son, Henry, hangs in her mother's house, where Henry now lives.

Frey lost custody of her son because of her yearslong battle with heroin.

"I never expected this for me ever. I really didn't," Frey said.

She had a normal childhood, growing up in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.

Her mom, Jan Hafer, has a doctorate in education, specializing in childhood development as a professor at Gallaudet University.

Her father, Hank, worked for the federal government.

"We kind of had just this charmed life in the suburbs. She had good schools and she had friends and we were very active in the church," Hafer said.

Annelise was an only child, with educated parents and a sparkling personality.

"People would remark about how funny she was and how vibrant. She was just a great kid," Hafer said.

"I saw myself living in a house with a husband, having a couple kids and going to work. I wanted to be a nurse, so I saw myself as a nurse and just living the American dream," Frey said.

Somehow, that dream turned into a nightmare that led to her becoming homeless, battling a heroin addiction and being incarcerated.

"I started using with my boyfriend Jason at the time," Frey said.

Despite what her mother called a "charmed life," Frey started using opioids when she was 17.

 

(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1version=v2.3"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));

Faces of Addiction: Ask our experts

Learning that your loved one has an addiction can be overwhelming, emotionally and beyond. We have experts with us to answer any question you may have during this difficult season: http://10.wsls.com/2rJGVW1

Posted by WSLS 10 / WSLS.com on Monday, May 22, 2017

 

In less than a year, her drug of choice turned from pills to heroin.

"It just snowballed from there basically. Stuff got really tough very quick," Frey said.

She became clean while she was pregnant, but the addiction lingered until she delivered, only to strike again.  

All the while, Hafer had no idea about the secret life her daughter was living in Fredericksburg with her boyfriend.

Now, Hafer can connect the dots, noticing alll the signs her daughter was using drugs.

"Things were just getting so bad for her and she got fired from her job. You know, I would go down to visit and the place would be a mess and she wouldn't feel well, but I thought maybe it was depression. I didn't think drugs. And then I found out," said Hafer, who remembers the day that call came.

"She told me and I just couldn't believe it. I thought, 'Heroin, what? What?' I mean, I didn't know anything about it really. I couldn't imagine why she would do this," Hafer said.

Frey landed in rehab, but started using heroin again with her boyfriend shortly after her release as the two fell even deeper into addiction.

At the height of her heroin use, she was getting high all day.

"I woke up, got high, got ready for work, probably did another shot before work. Took my son to daycare, dropped him off, went to my job and I'd always have some on me, so I'd have some for halfway through my day at work, just to make sure I could get through the day and then after I'd go meet my dealer again after work, get a little bit more for me and Jason, go home, do that and probably do a little bit more before bed as well, just to maintain," Frey said.

It all came crashing down with her arrest.

"The darkest moment for me was probably being in jail... Not having any way out and not having any support in the beginning, only having myself and having to sit with my feelings, because I had lost everything before that. We had a house in downtown Fredericksburg, he had his own company and I was working for an insurance agency and we became homeless within a matter of months.  We lost our son," Frey said.

After getting out of jail and learning she was pregnant again, Frey recently landed in treatment in Roanoke's Bethany Hall.

"I'm just really grateful to be here and have this chance at a new life for me," Frey said.

While Frey is getting help, her mom is offering assistance, too.

Hafer was inspired by another parent of an addict and started volunteering at a local day clinic in her hometown in Northern West Virginia, helping people kick their addiction.

"I knew a woman one time whose son was homeless. He had some kind of emotional problem and he just disappeared and she would go to the homeless shelter locally and help out. I asked her why and she said, 'I hope someone's doing this for my son,'" Hafer said. "I feel like I help the people that I meet and I treat them with respect and I hope that's what happens to my daughter."

Frey said she's in good hands at Bethany Hall, working to fix herself one day at a time to regain custody of Henry.

"I hope after her treatment, you know, it will be successful and she can come home and get back to the business of being Henry's mom, because he loves and misses her and she loves him more than anything," Hafer said.

The path to heroin addiction for Frey seemed privileged compared to others in the program, but around this table, the pain is all the same.

"It's just an evil drug. It really takes a hold of you and it brought me to my knees. I know that," Frey said.

Frey has months before she graduates the program at Bethany Hall. During that time, she's seeking a family to adopt the baby girl she's now carrying and will deliver in Roanoke.

While she's working to better her future, she's hoping a family can provide the same for her unborn child.


About the Author:

After working and going to school in Central Virginia for over five years, Lindsey’s made her way back home to the mountains.