Compulsive debtors: Get yourself some help

Media General News Service
Published: April 28, 2008

If you are a compulsive debtor, you need to get yourself some help.
You are not someone who is in financial trouble because of sloppy spending habits. You’re in it for the emotional high that you get when making purchases.
It’s time to reverse that destructive behavior.
Bruce McClary, corporate trainer for ClearPoint Financial Solutions Inc., a nonprofit credit-counseling firm based in Henrico County, said that can’t be fixed in a one-hour debt-counseling session.
You may need debt counseling plus a support group. Debt counseling, the kind you get at such organizations as ClearPoint, (877) 422-9044, can help you get your finances on track.
A support group such as Debtors Anonymous, (800) 421-2383, can help uncover the reasons for your spending behavior and provide emotional support so that you can recover.
Do you have a compulsive problem? At http://www.debtorsanonymous.org, site of Massachusetts-based Debtors Anonymous, you can answer 15 questions. If you say yes to eight or more, it’s time to seek help.
Click on “Signs of Compulsive Debting,“ too.
Let’s say you’re addicted to buying on a home shopping network. You’re not thinking through your purchases, ClearPoint’s McClary said. You may be lonely, seeking to connect with someone who validates your behavior. “The customer-service person they speak to is an extra friend.“
Sometimes, the shopping channel puts customers on air to tell what they think of a product. That gives the compulsive debtor “a whole new high,“ McClary said.
Often, they wind up accumulating items they have no practical use for, he said.
“If somebody is spending their whole day doing that, clearly that is a situation where they’re not just there to buy something to use.“
Admit that you need help. If all your attempts to successfully manage debt have failed and you feel powerless, get help.
Locate a local Debtors Anonymous.
Attend at least six meetings. “We recommend attending six meetings before taking any action steps so you can get comfortable with the program and the people around you, and then you can pick a sponsor,“ said Kathy R., who is spokeswoman for the national Debtors Anonymous and a recovering debtor.
No one’s last name is used. Members’ identities are kept private. The gatherings are anonymous. Members “come in all ages, races and sizes,“ she said.
At the meetings, you and six to 20 other attendees interact and learn the 12 steps to recovery and what tools are available to achieve it, such as pressure relief groups, phone meetings and money-management techniques.
The members she sponsors will call her almost anytime day or night to get help working the steps or because they’re upset, she said. The road to recovery can be painful.
Your compulsive urges may never disappear. “We learn to manage them,“ said Michael B., spokesman for the Richmond group of Debtors Anonymous.
You must focus on not piling up debt — one day at a time. “It’s a manageable period of time,“ he said. “A week, a month or a year is too long a period of time to focus. But you can do anything one day at a time. Likewise, you can not do anything one day at a time.“
You may relapse. Sometimes, when people think they’re getting better and can handle their urges, they leave the program, Kathy R. said. But they often wind up coming back because they are in debt again or their debt has escalated.