PULASKI COUNTY, Va. – Another beer bandit has decided to strike in Pulaski County, but the sheriff's office won't let him slide without a little public shaming first.
In the office's latest "Theft Thursday" post, authorities recount the story of "Icehouse Igor," who was caught on camera stealing a few cases of Icehouse beer.
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Igor is no slouch. He even stole some chips and dip for his soiree.
Authorities noted how Igor's poor form really reflected in his time. It took him about 2 minutes and 45 seconds to finish the deed, while the last beer bandit featured heisted his brews in under a minute.
If only Igor hadn't spent so much time looking for a cart that didn't go "tunk tunk screech tunk tunk screech." As the deputies said in their post, all of those carts need a front end alignment, so good luck with that.
At this rate, Igor will never qualify for the Beer Bandit Olympics.
Don't worry, though. The sheriff's office offered some tips to help improve his form.
"And a 1 and a 2 and a....push those carts and push those carts and push those carts some more!! ... !!! And a 1 and a 2 and a......12 ounce curl and 12 ounce curl and 12 ounce curl again!!!!"
If you happen to recognize Igor, call the sheriff's office's "tipsy" line at 540-980-7810.